My baby 🐒 8 Weeks

First photos of my baby monkey.

Last photo together

Few days after I found out I was pregnant Landan and I went to the emergency room because I was spotting and worried that something might be going wrong. I was really concerned because my doctor had called me that day and told me my hormone levels were only at 40 and that usually means it's still super early in the pregnancy or I am having a miscarriage. So Landan and I went to the emergency room 2/11/16 5:30 - 11:30 and sat there waited had an ultra sound where they couldn't see anything and lab tests that ended up showing I was RH negative so I had to have a injection to help my body so it doesn't form antibodies against the baby and try to attack it.... While all this was going on I decided to ask Landan if we could take a photo together to remember this horrible scary moment and experience we were going thru. Little did I know that this was gonna be the last photo we took together as a couple and together. I find it funny our expressions. But eh it was how we were feeling at the time.

Postive test I am pregnant surprise

Barely noticeable but these are the two urine test I took the first find out that I was pregnant. 

Just me

I couldn't decide which photo I liked better. I took this on 2/26/16 I just got back from teaching my drumming class and was feeling pretty happy because drumming and teaching are my favorite things to do. It's a very grounded feeling and I was just happy that day. So here's me content and happy in that moment. 

 

Monkey

A couple days after I found out I was pregnant I went to the store to buy a journal to write future letters to my child and I wandered into the kids baby section and I found a blanket with a stuffed monkey toy. I felt like I wanted to buy it because it's year of the monkey according to Chinese horoscope and my baby due this year.
So here's a photo of the little monkey toy I sleep with most nights. Just a reminder of the little life that's coming.

All the hours late at night

all the hours late at night
with no one around to hold her tight
needing someone there to help
when nothing but a pillow's felt
she lays in the dark where no one can see her hiding all the stains her tears make 
all the marks her eyes leave with little keys to unlock her heart and let in the love to look as beautiful and peaceful as that morning dove oh to dream

she closes her eyes and feels the cold with no one, no one there to hold
she cries at night and wonders why
all the pain stays so deep inside
she needs someone there just to hear
of all the sadness that swells in her breast and leaves her soul empty 

for her pain is the only thing she says she is to have and for her to hold
forever and ever 'til her body runs cold

Joy a slipped away from her just the quite thumping of her unborn child keeps her awake tossing and turning in the middle of the night she yells out for the love she never had the lover that left her behind in the dark 

Wow Hello 2016!

I've done so many things.
1. Saw the fireworks from the space needle in Seattle WA
2. Updated my music website www.crislynsand.com
3. Had a show with the band 1/23
4. Got live music videos
6. Started the beach body diet
7. Started to record music for a new album which I want to put out in May
8. Talking with a personal manager / music manager to take my talents to a new levels
9. Went to acting class with Toni Bua Acting for life
10. Got 3 new bookkeeping clients www.crislynsand.net
11. Found out my vocal coach Jeannie Diva http://www.jeanniedeva.com/ passed away from cancer :(
12. Found out that my acting / performing teacher / friend Toni Bua http://www.buaactingforlife.com was transitioning and also dying of cancer. I got to see her and spend time with her before she passed.
13. Auditioned for America's Got talent with Lotus Room (Landan / Keatan Short)
14. Found out this week I'm pregnant (Happy Valentines day to me?!?!)
15. Making plans about the future, my goals, and preparing for all the changes my body is going to undergo.

And more to come!