love = blah blah blah

I feel like my heart has lost the capability to love.

I mean I can’t really feel love anymore.

I just feel numb, I feel empty.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for.

I am happy. I am lucky. I am content.

But I feel like I want more out of life.

I want to go out and live the life that I dream of.

I want to be in an amazing relationship.

Where I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel secure.

I want to be with just one person.

I want to feel love again.

But I don’t know how to anymore.

I miss you.

I miss just laying around in bed with you all day.

I miss taking showers with you.

I miss rolling over and having you right there for me to hold.

You always made me feel love.

I wish I could have you back in my life.

You where more than everything I ever needed.

I know I can live my life with out you.

But I don’t know if I could ever really love anyone the way I loved you.

I mean it was real.

We where real.

We where able to live together and be happy.

Sometimes I wish we never broke up.

My life was better with you in it.

I miss having you always there at my side.

I miss your spaghetti. Man you really loved that stuff.

When I think of you, I think of everything great about you.

I remember when you told me a million years ago.

I can offer you love and loyalty. That meant a lot to me.

The last couple of months that we spent together before you left where amazing.

I felt like I was discovering loss Angeles for the first time.

I felt sad to know you wouldn’t be just 30 miles from my house.

I felt like I was mourning you.

It makes me want to cry knowing that I can’t just go over to your apartment and sleep next to you.

I think that’s what I miss most.

I miss cuddling.

I wish I could summon up the courage to tell you just how important you are to me.

I don’t want to lose that.

Its hard knowing that we aren’t apart of each others everyday lives.

I mean we talk everyone once and a while but it’s not the same.

We aren’t the same people.

I miss talking about the most random things.

I want to have you back in my life.

I enjoyed things more with you around.

I just know that you could love me like no other.

You are amazing.

It’s hard for me to move on and date because I know that they wouldn’t be you.

Every time I think of you I think of love.

What’s the point of loving if I just love alone?

I can’t wait to see you.

I miss your hugs.

I’m not hanging on to the memory of you.

But I find you in everything that I do.

I go through the motions of my life.

But I find you in the corners of my mind.

There’s no way of knowing where life will lead me.

So this is good bye.