Friday, January 28, 2011
When you are on stage; hitting that first note...and the room is packed with all eyes on you, waiting to hear your song unfold...what is going through your mind during those moments?
Normally the only thing going thru my mind is I hope I remember my lyrics and how to play my songs.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Early Valentine's Day
Christopher gave me a doze red roses for an early V-Day since we are not going to be together for the day.
I put the flowers up as an offering to the white tara goddess.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Complicated Love
When did things become so complicated?
I remember when I was younger, all I wanted was to have love in my life, and to share love with a partner.
Someone I could depend on, when all else fails and nothing else mattered to me. Whatever happened to that?
When did just "Love" become not good enough?
I feel stuck, there is not other word to describe how I feel.
I love you, you love me, we enjoy being with each other.....BUT there are all these other things that get in the way....
Is it lack of being compatible?
Like I don't like being around crowds of people, I don't like to be around smoke, I only like to eat certain foods. I like to rest, I like to be a home body.
You like to be around crowds of people, you like to smoke and you like to travel and go where ever the wind blows you.
If I want to wake up every morning and know what my day will bring, well let's face it.. I will never know what will my day or month or year will be with you in my life.. Because you don't even know what it will bring.. You might get called on a job out of state. You may need to go help your mother with something in North Carolina.. You may decide to go tour in a band and hit the road...
Who knows with you? I don't and you certainly don't.. That makes it hard....
Well my life isn't that way.. I wake up, I eat breakfast, I shower, I get in my car and drive to work, I work, I come home, I eat, I take a shower, I watch TV, I play the guitar, I write in my journal, I sleep and then the next day I do it all over again.. Until it's Saturday & Sunday... Then I just normally rest or hangout with friends or run errands.
I wish our love would be enough for you and for me. BUT it's not.
As I am growing older.....
I am realizing that I want a partner, I have the desire to be committed to a person.
I want to love just one person for the rest of my life.. Is that so wrong?
It's hard you know. It really is. I mean it's a simple goal, however meeting the right person is the hard part.... Especially since I was of the belief that I had met that man. That I had met my person who I could grow with, learn with, and enjoy the adventures of life together...
I guess I was wrong? I mean here we are, living in separate spaces and yet all I want to do is be with you, but you can't decide what you want.
You love me right? Then why are you so unsure of the love that we share?
Is it because you doubt yourself?
Is it because you doubt me?
Yes I want commitment, yes I want security, but with all of my wants and desires, it's still you I want in my life.
I guess we need to take this time to live our separate lives and see what comes out of everything...
My worst fear is to wake up and be 35 and not have seen any progress and growth in my personal life.
In the coming year, I plan to buy a house, I plan to live in that house for as along as I can.
I make it my goal to build a life for myself... I make it my goal to create my own family... First of all starting with a partner... I hope it'll be you.
But somehow because I know how complicated your life is, it complicates our relationship.
I don't desire any other man, no one compares to you, but is it fair for me to know that I would choose you as my partner, but you would not choose me?
So I guess it's true for us, love isn't enough no matter how hard we try to make it so..
I guess it's complicated?!? I guess our love is a complicated love.
I remember when I was younger, all I wanted was to have love in my life, and to share love with a partner.
Someone I could depend on, when all else fails and nothing else mattered to me. Whatever happened to that?
When did just "Love" become not good enough?
I feel stuck, there is not other word to describe how I feel.
I love you, you love me, we enjoy being with each other.....BUT there are all these other things that get in the way....
Is it lack of being compatible?
Like I don't like being around crowds of people, I don't like to be around smoke, I only like to eat certain foods. I like to rest, I like to be a home body.
You like to be around crowds of people, you like to smoke and you like to travel and go where ever the wind blows you.
If I want to wake up every morning and know what my day will bring, well let's face it.. I will never know what will my day or month or year will be with you in my life.. Because you don't even know what it will bring.. You might get called on a job out of state. You may need to go help your mother with something in North Carolina.. You may decide to go tour in a band and hit the road...
Who knows with you? I don't and you certainly don't.. That makes it hard....
Well my life isn't that way.. I wake up, I eat breakfast, I shower, I get in my car and drive to work, I work, I come home, I eat, I take a shower, I watch TV, I play the guitar, I write in my journal, I sleep and then the next day I do it all over again.. Until it's Saturday & Sunday... Then I just normally rest or hangout with friends or run errands.
I wish our love would be enough for you and for me. BUT it's not.
As I am growing older.....
I am realizing that I want a partner, I have the desire to be committed to a person.
I want to love just one person for the rest of my life.. Is that so wrong?
It's hard you know. It really is. I mean it's a simple goal, however meeting the right person is the hard part.... Especially since I was of the belief that I had met that man. That I had met my person who I could grow with, learn with, and enjoy the adventures of life together...
I guess I was wrong? I mean here we are, living in separate spaces and yet all I want to do is be with you, but you can't decide what you want.
You love me right? Then why are you so unsure of the love that we share?
Is it because you doubt yourself?
Is it because you doubt me?
Yes I want commitment, yes I want security, but with all of my wants and desires, it's still you I want in my life.
I guess we need to take this time to live our separate lives and see what comes out of everything...
My worst fear is to wake up and be 35 and not have seen any progress and growth in my personal life.
In the coming year, I plan to buy a house, I plan to live in that house for as along as I can.
I make it my goal to build a life for myself... I make it my goal to create my own family... First of all starting with a partner... I hope it'll be you.
But somehow because I know how complicated your life is, it complicates our relationship.
I don't desire any other man, no one compares to you, but is it fair for me to know that I would choose you as my partner, but you would not choose me?
So I guess it's true for us, love isn't enough no matter how hard we try to make it so..
I guess it's complicated?!? I guess our love is a complicated love.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
i have 98gb left of my 500gb hard drive. what do i get rid of?
nothing, you buy a desktop hard drive, back up everything. then delete the stuff you never use or look at, but at least you still have it on the backup harddrive.
when you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? and are you anywhere close to that now?
when i was little i wanted to be a famous singer/performer.
no i'm not..... my passion became my hobby :(
if you were a superhero, what would your name be, and what would your super power be?
Chacha and I would dance people into a state of bliss & happiness.
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