Saturday, August 30, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

<3


Oh God.
I have discovered love.
how marvelous!
how good!
How beautiful it is!
my body is warm from the heat of this love.
how secret.
how deep.
how obvious it is.
i offer my salutations to the stars and the moon
to all my borthers and all my sisters
i offer my salutations to the spirit of passion
that arosed and excited this universe
and all it contains
i have fallen
unable to rise
what kind of trap is this?
what chains have tied my hands and feet?
it is so strange
and so wonderful
this loving helplessness of mine
be silent
do not reveal the secret
of my precious love


- rumi

Keith Richards 1979

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

58 things you dont really need to know about me

1] Have you ever showered with someone other than at school?
Yes, Oh the trouble I get into.

2] Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Kinda. I have his number though I never call him.
But once in a blue moon we will text eachother so I guess that counts as communication.

3] Where was the first kiss you had with the last person you kissed?
The First Kiss I had with my boyfriend now was when he kissed me on the check at Crane's. That night I believe I kissed him back on the check.
But really the first make out session was when I stayed in his hotel sweet in anaheim. Our first make out session was sooo hott. Wow.

4] Who is your last text from and what does it say?
Nicole "Just got out of acupuncture...will call u in 10 to figure out the rest of day..."

5] Burger King or Wendy's?
Wendy's

6] Latest you stayed up in the past week?
I dunno maybe 1:00am Monday Night.

7] Where are you right now?
House Sitting for Melbe

8] Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yes.

9] What were you doing at 9:30 last night?
I was probably sitting on the couch with christopher.

10] Are you listening to music right now?
Yes, Ben Harper

11] Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?
It was a boy I know named Johnny. "R You Out"

12] What is the 7th text in your inbox say and from who?
Christopher "it is funny i just walked to my truck and stared at my phone thinking of you.... may your sexy legs enjoy the bubbles..Am glad my plug fits your hole :)"

13] Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Nah. I dont ever want a tat or anything other than my ears pierced.

14] How long can you go without your phone?
Maybe like an hour at the most.

15] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk
about?
Alice, eh she wants me to go hangout with her and her boyfriend.
But I'd rather just kick it at home and watch tv.

16] Who last called you babe/baby?
I dunno. I'm not sure Christopher calls me Baby.

17] Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
Ahahahahaha always.

18] Do you know anyone who is married that shouldn't be?
No.

19] If your ex said they hate you, you say?
i would say, "get over it."

20] Do you curse in front of your parents?
Ya all the time. Though my mom get's pissed off when I say Fuck.
She just really hates that word. I think its funny when she is angry.

21] What is your current annoyance?
Nothing at the moment I'm pretty chill.

22] Last time you saw fireworks, with whom & where?
4 of july. I was with paul and we where on top of my roof in tujunga watching the fireworks go off at verdugo hills highschool

23] Who did you last lay in bed with?
Christopher and Gus (the dog)

24] Are you afraid of roller coasters?
No roller costers are fun!

25] What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving?
I would probably help them pack. Throw a party. And plan to visit them soon.

26] Macy's gift card or Hollister gift card?
Macy's

27] Who pissed you off yesterday?
no one.

28] At what age do you want to be married?
Hopefully 35.

29] Where is your mom right now?
home probably watching tv

30] What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Probably play guitar or writing song. But right now I feel like just doing nothing.
I may watch alittle grey's antomy later.

31] Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
not on purpose. but yes i have some friends that i am drifting away from.
but that is more there choosing then mine.

32] When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
i dont really feel guilty ever! i guess that could be a probablem in the future.

33] Are you bored?
not really.

34] What girls can you tell everything to?
teri, alice, gemma, candice, aisha, melbe,

35] The last person you talked to on AIM/MSN?
im logged on now at the moment

36] Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with an A?
Yes

37] Can you play guitar hero?
i've never tried playing guitar hero

38] Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
cold- i hate being hot and sticky

39] What do you currently hear right now?
the flow of traffiic outside and some people walking down the street and talking

40] Three days in a hotel or NFL game tickets?
hotel... i hate nfl. blah gross

41] How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
35-37.

42] Would you rather watch football or baseball?
baseball. i fucken hate football.

43] Where is your number one person on your friends list?
christopher. hmm he is probably at a bbq or at crane's night out with the boys (rolling my eyes)

44] What's your ringtone?
diamond's on the inside - ben harper

45] Three things you did yesteday?
played guitar, had sex, ate food.

46] When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
let them go. if we become friends again. it will happen eventually.

47] Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you bad?
hell ya. this douche bag i dated when i was like 19. i was with the mother fucker for like a year. well im glad it was only a year.

48] Have you ever kissed in the rain?
no i dont think i ever have.

49] Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
all the time :)

50] What are you doing tonight?
i want to watch my movies, clean, and paint!!!!!

51] Do you know anyone who is pregnant?
yeah. my friend nicole.

52] Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
yeah. i will see him later :)

53] Does anyone hate you?
not that i know off.

54] Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
sure why not.

55] Do you want a small or big wedding?
small outdoor wedding just family and close friends

56] Who was the last girl you talked to?
Alice

57] Who was the last guy you talked to?
Christopher.

58] Have you ever kissed anyone who's named started with a R?
3 all totally not worth mentioning lol!

I yearn to be....me.

I wait with open arms,
open mind and spirit.
I search for answers
only known to the Universe,
the void of darkness and light.

I hunger for the yearning.

I wait for life,
for the breath of heat
that inflames my lungs, my heart.
The pitter-patter of beats,
the pulse of need...
desire.

I embrace the yearning.

Want and need fill me,
obliterating in frenzy
all conscious thought.

I wait for the yearning...
And pray for it
to never end.
I yearn to be....me.

Buble Bath Heaven.



So I took a bubble bath today.
I love bubble baths.
Where I live now there isn't a tub that I can take baths at.
I'm house sitting for the week and there is a huge bathtub here at the house.
So today I took advantage of the situation and soaked in the tub for about 2 hours.
My fingers got all wrinkly.
Gross.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Time to de-stress.

Because of my past,
Awful and dreadful I've been cast
I feel lost, knowing not what to do...
Where to go now or whom to turn to.
Totally Stressed... inside and out

Because of those days
Stumbling around in a haze,
As my beautiful candle burned out.
Shadows now haunt me...
Stressing me... Inside and out.

I'm clearly not here.
I have lost all that was dear.
I should give up-- or perhaps already have.
I feel my life is over, there is no salve,
Only stress... inside and out.

I'm embarassed and hurting,
And so terribly ashamed
Guilt-ridden and sorry for the troubles for others
On whom I've blamed. For them, and me
I cry... inside and out.

Through my fingers life has slipped,
My heart feels pummeled, broken, ripped.
Can i throw these dark memories into the sea,
Like cremated ashes, all that old me?
Cleansing...inside and out

My soul craves a new start,
Need to jumps tart my heart.
Could i really start over again?
Am I sincere, a fool, or fooling?
Another pretend... inside and out

I need fresh wax, a new candle mold
A spirited scent for someone to hold.
To light it and wish for sweet inner-peace
To burn at one end, the old life to cease
No more stressing... inside and out.

I pray the lost child hiding in me
Will come take my hand, help me to see
I'm not alone, just lonely inside.
It's a stressful world where "little me" hides.
Time to evolve... inside and out

My chrysalis is hard, not easy to break,
Endurance I know, but the goal to re-wake
Means to re-love myself-- and treasure that wealth.
I've got to commit mind, body and soul.
Time to de-stress... inside and out.

Pick up stix


Working as a personal assistant for the week.
I saw this and thought it was funny.
Typing dragon.
Weird.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Clip Art

Time of my life.

So I had a show on friday and it was the most fun I've had at a show for a really long time. I felt really good about my performance. I got a sponsership with belldini clothing. So I got to wear this really cool top. Not to mention that there was a lot of people there that night made me feel really great! I feel like as the show progressed the applause got longer and louder after each song tha makes me happy. Also I meet these girls who really enjoyed the show too! They where cool :).

That's all for now :).

Goodnight.

<3
Crislyn

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Way You Make Me Feel

This is a poem that I wrote when I was single and looking for love, but now that I found it, it explains exactly how I feel right now.



"The Way You Make Me Feel"


I pull your hand, you don't hold back.

I kiss your lips, you gratefully accept

I squeeze your hand from the passion, you squeeze back

It's getting hot in the room; you take off your shirt because you're sweating

My breathing becomes heavy, your breathing is unsteady.

It's crazy how u can make my whole body quiver.

I quiver from the internal and external ecstasy.

My eyes can't stay open because of the breathtaking feeling that my body endures.

I try to conceal my screams by biting my lip, but that doesn't seem to work.

You grin because you notice how much control you have over me.

You bend down to kiss my lips as I try to maintain my sanity.

Sweat's dripping from your moving body.

You kiss my neck and grab it with your teeth.

That makes me go crazy, and you know it.

You hold my body close to u.

Now we are one thru mind, body and soul.

I can't feel anything around me but you.

I know we're not on earth anymore.

My body is limp as we spill all over the place.

You lie on top of me breathing heavy.

I'm returning from my high as I feel you kiss my forehead.

You whisper those three divine words.

I smile and say, "I love you too".

the distance between, won't seem so far.




Your words weave a spell upon my soul.
Enchanting my heart, making me whole.
Twilight surrounds me as I am cast above.
Floating among the stars, lifted by love.

Your words like sweet music upon my ears.
Captivating my spirit and calming my fears.
I see us together on a distant shore.
My heart beating now like never before.

Your words shine down, it's no longer dark.
As I look to our future, I feel a spark.
I'm not alone, you are now my life.
I want nothing more than to be your side.

Your words have caused these feelings so strong.
In your arms is where I know I belong.
So make a wish upon that shining star.
And the distance between, won't seem so far.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Missing My Boyfriend

UUUGGGGHHHHH,
sucks.
i just went like 1 week without seen my man.
he went to new york for work.
he came back into town on friday night.
we spent that night together.
and had breakfast the next morning at this place in sierra madre.
he came out to the birthday party saturday night.
he spent the night at my house with me.
it was wonderful.
last minute he decided to go to NC for the week.
i just miss him i guess.
i missed him for like a long time.
got to see him for a couple of days which is cool.
but now i go right back to missing him somemore.
but what doesnt help is that i dont have work this week.
so that will be alot of free time to spend thinking about him.
i guess i just feel abandoned.
i totally understand where he is coming from.
i just have so much fun with him when he is in town.
that i just want us to get on with our normal lives together.
instead of me just feeling alittle sad and alone cause he's not here to hold me.
and spend my time with.

oh well i'll stop complaining now.

anyways.

talk to you soon.


love,
~Crislyn

Cover Me




Verse 1:
Don’t know where tomorrows going to take me
Doesn’t bother me. Does it bother you?
It’s just the way you rub my back
Takes me places I’ve never been
Even if just for a little while
Why don’t you cover me?
Come on and cover me.

Chorus:
Please don’t forget about me.
Please don’t forget about me kid.

Verse 2:
I don’t want to rush this
I don’t want to drag it too slow
I’m just going to let it be and take me
You take me out you take me in
You take me down you take me
You take me here you take me there.
You take me anywhere, everywhere
Even if just for a little while
Why don’t you cover me?
Come on and cover me

Verse 3:
Wondering if ill ever see your face again
Doesn’t bother me does it bother y you
It’s just the way your fingers run
Through my hair in the mornings
Eve if just for a little while
Why don’t you cover me?
Come on and cover me.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Red roses Mean I love you.

I got home from a long night and found a wonderful surpise waiting for me. Christopher sent me roses today that said "I miss you, see you soon, love" man am I just the luckiest girl in the world right now or what?!? He is so amazing. I keep on waiting to wake up and have him not be real. But what's great is I know he does exsist. My dream man. I'm glad that my life has lead up to this point. Everything shitty that has ever happened to me in all the relationships I have had. Well all the shitty times are worth going thru cause now I feel I can apprecaite this wonderful man that has come into my life. I feel fortunate. I feel blessed. He makes me pretty much the happiest girl in the world. I wish for this moment and feeling to last forever. Anyways that's all. Goodnight. Love,
Cris

Speaking to X's

I got a phone call from lynn today. Yesterday was his 36th birthday. I'm happy to hear the he is doing great and having an awesome summer in Boone, NC. Its good to hear from him. I like that we are such good friends I can tell him all about my life and new realtionship and he is actually happy for me. Where as most men there would be a hint of jealousy or just bitterness. But its not like that with him. Even though our relationship is over our friendship isn't and that is the important part. He was my closest/best friend pretty much all of 2006/2007 even up till the time he left in March 2008. I'm happy to have meet him. He is a rare breed to meet. I'm glad I can call him friend after all that has happened. I'm greatful for that :).

Glitter Box

So from my imagination into reality. Christopher took one of my photos and the picture I drew and made it into 3D real form. Its really cute. Probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever made for me. I love it :)

Painted Parot

Times its strange for me to see a parot painted on the side of a brick wall. It was totally random so I took a photo of it cause I thought it was pretty cool. Anyways that's my photo of the day :). Talk to you later, Love Crislyn

Monday, August 11, 2008

When Nothing Else Matters

There are times when words aren’t enough
feelings can’t always be put into words;
because they are inadequate and often escape us
sometimes, there are only feelings.

There are times when all you need is a look;
a silent, wordless connection between souls
an understanding that needs no translation
a natural, knowing stare that says everything.

There are times when all you need is a touch;
nothing spoken - just the gesture of reaching out
touching, silently transferring your energy
conveying something that comes from within

There are times when all you need is acceptance
to know that you are valued as you are
that any changes you make only enhance you more
as you discover yourself.

There are times when all you need is love
no conditions or demands, only simplicity.
to know that for no reason at all
another chooses you over all others.
There are times when all you ever wanted,
was to be completed by another person.

There are times when you need all of these things
there are times when nothing else matters.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Things I Love About You

Your eyes
which first held me captivated
where I stood.

Your smile
to dazzle the sun
and warm every corner of my soul.

Your voice
like a sparkling mountain stream
which flows into my heart.

Your walk
and the way your gracefulness
takes my breath away.

Your hair
about which I dreamed
cascading into my face
as you leaned over me.

Your hands
whose caress I crave
to hold my face
in their tenderness.

Your arms
I long to have around my neck
as you pull me close
to your warmth.

Most of all
everything you are
changed the way I feel about my life.

I love you.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

When I Look Into Your Eyes

Ocean Blue, still, cool waters, whispers softly "Come to Me"
Hypnotized, a spellbound answer "Yes, I want to drown in thee"
Moving from these shores of safety, where
I've stood for far too long...
You've sent your rushing waves to greet me, carried off in passion strong.
No sky above, nor ground below, completely held in your embrace...
All consuming these blue waters, in them now I see your face.
Never have I felt like this, overflowing ecstasy....
In the grip of grave desire, exactly where I've longed to be.
A sweeter place, I've yet beheld, in your world, my Ocean Blue...
I'll drift upon the rising tide, until I'm brought back out to you.…


<3

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Idyllwild w/Chris Jamison







The Tahquitz Inn. Chris and I drove up here last night. In the car snow patrol was playing. It was such a calming feeling driving up the mountain. What a way to start the morning. I love the way his hands run through my hair when I first wake. He may be the best man I've ever been with. He's so amazing. Right now he's cooking me a wonderful breakfast. I swear I love this guy with ever piece of me.
Saturday We ended up just walking around town looking at things eating food.
Playing guitar and walking up the mountain Devils trail it was called. I thought I was going to die I could hardly breath. The elevation up there was like 8500 ft.
It was wonderful. Chris stopped me in my tracks and said "i know there are many levels of love, but i have to tell you that I LOVE YOU." It was funny to me when he said it cause I had just kinda took alittle sprint up the trail and I was completely out of breath when he said it. I said it back and I meant it. I feel so great with him.
Like I said before I feel like he's the man of my dreams. He took a step right out of my imagination and into real life.













Anyways talk to you later, <3 Crislyn