Valentines Day 21

 I wanted to get around to helping Annabelle finish her valentines day cards for our loved friends and family. So we did that first thing before eating breakfast.

I didn't really feel like cooking cooking so I just tossed in some eggos and sasauges to warm and we ate that.

I decided I would go over to Godmoma Debs to dropoff the card and I was thinking about Candice as well since I was planning to drive down to Tujunga to see my mom.

I bought a dozen donuts to share with my mom since Annabelle said that is what she wanted to valentines day so I got her some. I left the whole box with my mom and she addmitted to me later in the evening out of the 12 donuts there was only 4 left!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And I thought I was the bad one when it came to sweets. 

Afterward headed back home and Landan came over and brought Annabelle Pizza and her own box of 6 donuts. We all ate (except Annabelle kept getting up to go sit on her boat and avoid sitting at the table).

We ended up chalk drawing outside and then playing outside with these squishy sensory water ball things that her OT therapist recommended.. But she tossed all of them out of the container and well that was that. 

I was walking around in the chalk in my hand and decided to just draw hearts while we where outside walking around. The apartment still has the hearts and smiling faces everywhere.

I guess cause Annabelle likes smiling faces I just figured I would draw those.. I mean why not?

We ended the evening all snuggled in bed watching her frozen 2 movie and her reenacting the scene  that she likes.

After Landan left I took a bath and decided to just passout early. Too tired for anything else.

Don't Be mean

 

Ordinary Life

 

Domestic Violence - Moving Forward

 PTSD.

Domestic Violence

Alcohol Abuse

Mentally Unstable

Drug Abuse

Narcissism

I can't even begin to describe the last 5 years of my life.

Well at least I can say that I put in effort the last 5 years.

I start counseling again.

To regain some of myself.

I've been in unhealthy for so long I just can't anymore.

I release this need to be important to you.

You've held my life back, I've held my life back because I was hoping that you would change and want to try for the sake of our daughter.

Never again will I make this mistake of thinking that things would be different.

Its part of a DV the person has the ability to keep pulling you back into their shit.

No more.

Its been a month since court. 

Your family can visit and bond with Annabelle now without me around.

They might believe that you are a different person, they might believe that I am the terrible person that you make me to be in your own head but the way I see it your entire family isn't worth this waste of energy.

This pain I've caused myself by trying to fix or improve or whatever to keep you happy.

There is no keeping you happy.

I've been disappointed, abused, lied to, manipulated, deceived.

No more. I hope you get help for all of your problems.

I will practice empathy and just say you are unwell and need professional help.

This is my turning point.

I am moving forward with my life.

I am moving on without you.

Goodbye.