Back to Basics

 I found myself cleaning my closet the other day and going thru things, memories, old cloths.. There was alot of pain in a few of those items. I want my house to be clean and organized. I'm 40 now well at least for the next month and then I turn 41! My father died at 40, in someway I guess I alway thought that I wouldn't live past 40 either for some reason. When I was 10, 40 seemed like such a far away age.

Here I am.

What have I done with my life in the last 30 years? I wrote another post about that "recounting the years"

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, darkly, but then face to face.”

That is how I felt going thru my old things my many costumes. I prioritize other peoples goals, dreams, wishes and value their love and happiness more than my own most my life. So I decided I would go back to the basics. Clear away all these physical things that take up space give them away to someone else who will find joy in them because when I look at them they no longer bring me joy.. So they serve no purpose in my life other than to remind me of the past.

I have alot of clutter in my life and I believe that journaling and letting go will finally help me to heal and step into the person I know I can be. The best version of myself.

Annabelle's such a blessing in my life and with ALL the DRAMA that I've gone thru with her -- I think its best to again = Go BACK TO THE BASICS.

Recounting the Years

1991 10 - I was probably about in 5 grade at Our Lady of the Holy Rosary in Sun Valley.

1992 11 - I kissed a boy for the first time, I believe his name was David Barsumian 

1993 12 - I started my period. My mother purchased a house in Sunland Tujunga Area.

1994 13 - I graduated 8th grade. I would read the Bible lot. I had a huge connection to God and my Catholic upbringing. But I went to summer school at Verdugo Hills High School and I started really journalling.

1995 14 - I was in 9th grade and I met my best friend Kendra Jacobs. As well as a string of friends. Alice, Candice, Roy, Jennifer, Nicole, Aisha, Marc, Paul, most of which are still my friends today mostly. I got my first guitar and started to learn how to pay and write songs. 

1996 15 - I started to go to adult classes after school and summer school, I enjoyed Drama and Art in High school. I kissed a boy his name was Aaron Braden he was my first boyfriend in high school. My Second boyfriend was Paul who I kissed many many more times in all of my life. I met my third boyfriend Ricky, then my fourth boyfriend Barry. Man I had alot of boyfriends in high school.

1997 16 - I learned how to go snow boarding with my friend Christina Bobich. I snuck out of the house a few times around this time. A trip to the beach, Going to old town Pasadena, Sleeping in the back of a truck in Pasadena under the tress. It was a crazy year for me.

1998 17 - I made the decision to graduate highschool early so I was going to take as many classes as I needed to to graduate and I did. I finished high school in 3 years. Class of 1998. I also I ran away from my mothers house to live with my then boyfriend Barry and my grandmother came to convict me to leave and come live with her. My grandmother died that year. I started community college and met a friend named Lucano in Art history and Design class. He made me a mixed tape with the song "It's probably me" on it. My piano teacher Sandra moved back to Poland and I showed her some of my songs she thought that they where good and that made me feel confidante. 

1999 18 - I started community college and was working alot as a baby sitter. I continued to just go to school wanted to finish my associates degree. My mother paid for acting classes for me to take.

2000 19 - I went out more with Lucano and his friends. Being in college so young was strange. I wasn't sure where my life fit in. I went to my first basket ball game the Clippers and I got my drivers license finally.

2001 20 - I started hanging out with Alice Hwang and  Candice Rivera alot around this time staying out late. Playing guitar singing songs, playing gigs. Wanting to get back into modeling and acting. My Aunt Edith encouraged me to go out and play my music so we did. I found this little cafe called Glaxa on sunset in silverlake it was fun to play in. I was still a babysitter at this time and watched the Bradley family and  Dr William Skinner in Santa Monica watching his Daughter Madison. 

2002 21 - I started dating musicians hahahahaha! I also drank a little and soon found out I was allergic to Alcohol. I graduated college, but also decided I wanted to become a surgical technologist so I went into a 18 month program to be a scrub tech / nurse and did that. Got my first job working at Good Samaritan in downtown Los Angeles, Paul even drove me down to that job interview cause my car wouldn't start. 

2003 22 - I fell in love with a guy name Austin Butler around his time and we had alot of adventures traveling around the US, New Mexico, New York, Arizona, Utah. Hermosa beach was a place to be back then. I also ended up getting into Video games and this was not a really good thing.. It ended up taking over my life. I also quit the Scrub tech thing and decided to go into tutoring kids and did that for a while.

2004 23 - I have no idea more music, I think I was dating Dan at the time? Will have to figure it out by looking at journals. 

2005 24 - I went on a European trip for a month with my Cousin Gloria and decided that it was time I got my own aparment in Cold water canyon studio city / valley village area. It was a 2 bedroom and I loved my first aparment but it was a wild time. I believe I met Ryan Gelber and Relax to Paris, I also met Nadir too this year. I went thru many jobs, I was a personal assistant to a few people. Buda Designs, and Momentum Gaming.

2006 25 - I met Freddy Lynn and we decided that we would live together and we did moved down to Palms Mar Vista and was back to scrub tech working with Dental stuff in Beverly Hills, then with Lap Band stuff in Westwood. 

2007 26 - Moved back to my moms house in Tujunga and then Lynn moved away we traveled across country on the 10 and I flew back home. That was a hard time I think I was heart broken again but still doing music. My career I was back to doing accounting. Relationship always seemed to be my goal at these times.

2008 27 I started blogspot so the rest of the years should be fill-in the blank.

2016 35 Spend the year pregnant Gave birth to Annabelle Moon Sandhovel. 

2019 I didn't blog at all but I am sure I was living my life as a mother.

Will edit when I remember more.