Back to the Daily Grind & the dark knight

So I went back to work today after taking alitte mini vacation.
It was nice to just chill.
I'm having just the best time with Mr Jamison.
He's freaking amazing.
I woke up today Mr Jamison made me breakfast :)
mmmmm french toast.
I went off to work and did my thing.
I saw melbe for like the first time in a week.
I'm glad she is feeling better.
After work I meet up Chris at the movie theaters to see the Dark knight.
It was really really good.
Wow it was strange to watch heath play that role.
he got alittle crazy with it. He I think did a good job playing that part.
Over all I enjoyed it.
It I think was the best batman movie ever.
So this weekend is going to be alot of fun.
We are going up to Idyllwild, CA

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I love it up there.
It's going to be an awesome weekend.
I can't wait to get out of town and have a little honeymoon of sorts.
mmmmmmm the things we will do.

Anyways.

I'll talk to you later,

Love,
~Crislyn

Mmmmmmm gummi bears.

Earthquake

I was laying in bed this morning when I felt the earth shake. It was pretty cool :).

My Dream Man

I close my eyes,
And I see his face
I feel his touch,
His warm embrace
I hear his voice,
He whispers so
Says he'll never
Let me go
He smells so good,
It feels so right
I beg him please,
To hold me tight
He runs his fingers
Through my hair
Caresses my skin,
His touch so fair
And then he presses
His lips to mine
My body quivers,
With feelings divine
And just as I feel
I haven't a care,
I open my eyes,
To find he's not there
Was it all in my head?
Does my dream man exist?
I feel a great sadness,
as I ask myself this
Then as I look up,
As if out of the blue
I see your sweet smile,
And I reach out to you
You gladly reach back,
With your arms open wide
The moment stands still,
A love frozen in time
You are the man,
Of which I had dreamed
I've waited forever,
Or so it has seemed
To share these feelings,
So pure, so true
I want to shout it out loud...
I <3 U!

Open mics and friendly encounters

Last night christopher and I went to the Karma Coffee house to sign up for the open mic. It was very interesting. Christina ended up showing up and we all spent time together. After the open mic was finished we all went over to Cranes and hungout for a while. It was good to catch up with Christina I've forgotten how much I have missed her. I'm glad she is happy and I'm glad she has decided to put the past behind us and start fresh. After ww walked her to her car and said goodnight. I have to see her more often. I must make it a point to do so.

On our way home I felt I had a really good conversation with Christopher in the car. I feel soo strong about us. I love that we can communicate so openly. I appreciate that. We ended up making out in the kitchen it was so increadibly hott. That man gives me a fever I've never known. Its such a wonderful warm feeling I don't know how I've lived my life for so long with out the connection. It makes me brave it makes me stonger. We cuddled the night away.
Its a beautiful thing. When I woke this morning I had a lot on my mind I had to clear the air. Christopher made me a wonderful breakfast. I'm greatful for this moment. I am free in this moment. I am happy.

Grace brings contentment.

things i did today

i went to work at GC
went to melbe's house she cooked me lunch it was yummy.
mac and cheese with veggies.
i made copies of the comment cards for el cid.
then chris came over and talked to melbe for a bit.
i went to el cid and worked there with michael.
i played one of my songs.
chris played winds of change it was awesome.
then we went to get some food.
we had sushi.
it felt so cool walking back to the car holding eachother.

i ate my favorite catapiller roll.
mmmmm.






came home.
took a shower.
i meditated going off of the paper that chris gave me.

mmmm i love his kisses.

now im cuddling in bed with my puppy ginger.

anyways ill talk to you later.

love ya,
~Crislyn

Tarot Card Meanings

The World - Past
Four of Wands - Present
Ten of Cups - Future






The World card marks a time in your life in which one cycle is over and the next is just beginning. It represents the final achievement of all your worldly expectations and desires, and the immenent approach of new desires to follow and new goals to puruse. The World itself remains the ultimate goal, because it is an affirmation of life and an arrival at a perfect state of harmony and bliss. This is the confirmation of success and the reward for all your trials and ordeals. With the coming of the World comes assured success and material well-being, as well as emotional fulfillment, and growth in the spiritual sense.






The applied and established strength of the Two and Three leads to the first stage of completion and rest, shown in the Four of Wands. This is a time to look back on all that you have done and be glad that you have done it. This would seem to very many people like a wholly positive card, but there is a conflict between the dynamic expansion of the Wands and the very restrictive and limiting numnber four. This shows primarily that, while success can be enjoyed for a while, you cannot rest on your laurels. You must never stop growing, learning, and living.






The cynics among us might scoff at the idyllic lifestyle painted for them on the Ten of Cups, especially the rainbow of Cups draped across the sky. But this is how almost everyone pictures true love, in a sense - nothing but joy and happiness for the rest of their days. This wish is a simple one, and indeed, the existence shown on the Ten of Cups, with the rolling hills and the small house on the horizon, is a simple exitence as well. And in the midst of this simplicity, the hearts of the man and woman are filled with the love of the spirit - the simplest and greatest joy of all.

Wrapped in Your Arms

Ever time I'm wrapped in your arms
I feel your love envelop me.

Every time you kiss my lips
I feel your tenderness run thru me
Like a mighty river of white rapids
Moving faster and faster as if taking me away
Where there are no worries
Where it's just you and me
And the silence of our kiss.

Then, as we slowly let go
And we stare into each other’s eyes
As if to say 'I love you'
But no words are spoken,
Your soft touch and you mesmerizing gaze
Are enough to say it all.

I want to be with you all of my days.

I wish to forever stay

You are the one my dreams are made of,
Full of understanding, warmth and love.
These feelings I thought for only fairytales,
But you are the winds that fill my sails.

The honesty we share between us two,
Keeps this connection very dear and true.
We can talk about good times, talk about bad.
Talk about the present and the past that we had.

You accept me for me, for who I am.
My opinions and thoughts you never condemn.
There's nothing of me you ask or expect,
We have for each other the deepest respect.

It's truly amazing how you make my heart smile,
And you do it with such a graceful style.
Keeping my heart smiling all through the day.
And for you, I do thank God, when I pray.

You are the warmth of the sun upon my face,
You're the calm to survive the rapid race.
And when you say "Crislyn", I get butterflies,
Like a little school girl, with puppy love in her eyes.

You can melt all the tension and ease all the pain,
Making all refreshed as a cleansing spring rain.
And looking in your eyes, I can see the sunrise.
And your excited hellos, like all the Fourth of Julys.

When talking for hours, seems only minutes passed.
And the conversation can forever last.
Your hug, so firm, and yet so tender,
Forces all my fears to immediately surrender.

There's a bond and a trust that's so very strong.
That I feel it is with you I truly want to belong.
A feeling of security, a safe- haven if you may.
And within this dream, I wish to forever stay.

Can't Save Them All

Verse 1:
Oh I guess she went away this time
But I do care anyhow.
See my world alone
See my world alone

Verse 2:
Oh I guess she went to fix this time
But I do care anyhow.
See my world alone.
See my world alone.

Chorus:
Right there in front of me
I see the light of captivity
But I know lord I cannot save them all
You’re living right with me
Your living anarchy
But I know lord I cannot save them all

Verse 3:
He slept in my bed
But I do care anyhow
See my world alone
See my world alone

Bridge:
Hear me now. Hear me now. Hear me now.
Then I get so lonely without you.
Every single day I think of you.

Ordinary LIfe

Verse 1:
I can give you attention
I can show you a good time
I can hold you till the sun rises
But I can give you love,
Give you love, give you love.

Chorus:
There’s a burning desire coming over me.
I yearn for something I cannot see.
Push me through another open door.
Take my hand and show me something more
Than this ordinary life.

Verse 2:
I can hold your hand tight.
I can wipe away your tears.
I will be there till you fall asleep
But I can give you love,
Give you love, give you love.

Verse 3:
I can kiss you gently
I can whisper in your ear.
I can hold you in the moonlight
But I can give you love,
Give you love, give you love.

Bob Dylan - Don't look back

I'm watching the doctumentary of bob dylan and its amazing with gemma. I forgot how much I love mr dylan.

A First Time Meeting

Your smile is captivating
When I look at you
It pleases my soul
I listen to your voice
And even though we just met
I have heard it many times
Somewhere, sometime not too long ago
I feel easy and peaceful
Almost entranced
As my voice fails me
There is a warmth
That surrounds you
And as the cold of the evening comes near
I wonder if I might warm myself
In the fire of your glow

Beautiful Flowers

{<<< Your Arms > >>}

Sometimes my life becomes such a blur,
And all of my feelings begin to stir;
And I get all mixed up inside,
And feel like I need a place to hide;
Someplace soft and safe and secure,
Someplace strong where I can be sure;
That I will be safe from all possible harms,
I’ve found no better place than in your arms.

There’s no better place than in your arms to be,
No other place would ever fit me;
You hold me till all my fears slip away,
And in your arms is where I want to stay;
You’re soft and strong and safe and secure,
And in your arms I can be sure;
Your loves like a shield that covers my soul,
Keeps me protected, makes me whole.

Your arms are my refuge my own little cave,
They shield and protect me,
And help me feel brave;
I love your eyes, your lips and smile so sweet,
Your walk and your talk from head to feet;
All of your character all of your charms,
Still there is nothing I love more than;
…Your arms

Love Power Prayer

Help me to be kind and thoughful in a word and generous in deed. Help me to forget myself and draw love and affection from those around me. Make me brautiful in soul, clear thinking and clean in mind, graceful in body, and fair in face. Increase my force of body and mind to make it inviting to those I find appealing. I am most thankful for all favors I receive this day, and for love of other which thou has put into my own heart. Amen.

Forgiveness

Personal Assistant

Well I started to work for Nicole as a personal assistant and its pretty cool just cleaning up the house and chopping some food. Its her husbands party and after I'm
done here I think I am going to stay for the party :) anyways ill talk to you later

First Kiss

You leaned over and you kissed me
I felt my knees go weak
You leaned over and you kissed me
I couldn't even speak
You leaned over and you kissed me
With a passion flowing free
You leaned over and you kissed me
Sparks flew that we could see
You leaned over and you kissed me
A touch so soft and tender
You leaned over and you kissed me
A kiss I would remember
You leaned over and you kissed me
I'm sure I kissed you back
You leaned over and you kissed me
With the fire no kiss should lack
You leaned over and you kissed me
You left me wanting more
You leaned over and you kissed me
My soul you did explore
You leaned over and you kissed me
My heart no longer full of strife
You leaned over and you kissed me
Darling, kiss me once again

birds pigs and cranes

I had alot of fun tonight.
I went out to see my friend Chris Jamison play at Cranes.
Melbe came out and we all just hungout it was alot of fun meeting new people.
After the show we all went to Denney's to eat breakfast.
mmmmmmm good times :)

Open Mic @ El Cid

On Tuesday I went to an open mic for the first time in maybe 5 years. It was so much fun. I was increidably neverous and unprepared. I even forgot a couple of lines. But it made me realize that I love playing. Gemma came with me and to did Tom. Melbe even came out to support me. I feel very fortune to have wonderful friends in my life :

Arched Across The Sky

Rainbows created my imagination As it arched across the sky On one end there sat you At the other end, there sat I Imagining I could slide across Over the rainbow to the end There would be my pot of gold The sweet love of my dear friend The rainbow is a connection Like a bridge from me to you It appears joined by sunlight Then the grey skies turn to blue Arriving after the rainstorms It became so evident to me Thoughts of love follow rainbows They arched right across the sea A colourful arching rainbow It has no gate, it has no door It reaches from friend to friend It arches from shore to shore I smiled up today at the sky How far would my loving smile go It slid right over to the other side The other end of the coloured rainbow

i need a sign

my heart is heavy i just want to cry.
there is a darkness that lingers in my mind.
so alone.
i wish i could just make it all go away.
i've lost my hope for a better life.
i'm sad.
i can feel it slipping away and there is nothing i can do to stop it.
it haunts me.
it teases me.
saying this is the life you used to have.
It’s no longer yours.
someone new has stepped in to take your place.
sad to think that i am replaceable.
i want this suffering to end but i struggle to see past my nose.
my heart is heavy i just want to cry.
what if there’s no tomorrow?
i keep wanting to look towards the future but i can't.
it's hard.
she keeps telling me i'm not good enough.
she constantly reminds me of how i've failed her.
i'm afraid that one-day ill not wake up.
and my life would have meant nothing.
why am i hear?
what's my purpose?
why was i born?
all these questions that fill my mind.
i need to sleep.
my heart feels heavy i just want to cry
my heart feels heavy i just want to cry
the more i say it the more it starts to go away.
i don’t have anyone to blame but myself.
i did this to me.
i did this to my own self.
why do i punish myself?
is that what you want to hear?
if i keep on running will i lose myself along the way?
i've never felt this bad in such a long time.
one day the pain will disappear, but today is not that day.
i keep hanging on to nothing.
empty promises.
I’m tempted to throw it all away.
my heart is heavy i just want to cry
my heart is heavy i just want to cry
what am i doing with my life?
there is no love in me anymore.
if there was you would be.
holding me.
touching me.
loving me.
needing me.
wanting me.
craving me.
devouring me.
where has my love gone?
will you return to me?
i dream of a great man.
a man of great enthusiasm.
a man with a gentle heart and mind.
a man who would kiss the ground i walk on.
do anything to please me.
how much longer shall i wait in vain?
will he ever come to me?
i need him.
i want him.
i have to have him.
consumed with all passion.
the nights that seem to go on forever.
my heart is heavy i want to cry.
please god if there is such a man
please send him my way.
i know he is out there he just has not found me yet.
please let the stars align just right so we may but see each other for a brief moment.
i need to feel that hope again.
my heart has been so empty.
so broken for so long.
always giving it way to the wrong man.
help me to see the light.
help me to know that when he comes along in will be right.
i am lost.
i am wandering.
i know i am strong.
i know i am safe.
i know that i can live my life alone.
but i don’t want to.
i don’t want to live my life without having anyone to share in my dreams with me.
there is a way.
show me this path you speak of.
my soul is dark.
where is my light at the other end of the tunnel?
my heart is heavy and i just want to cry.
please i need a sign.
i need a sign.

I’m waiting on a miracle tonight.

Pool Side

So I worked alittle today and then ended up going to lunch with my friend dayne.
It was really fun to catch up with her.
I decided to go to the psyhic eye to get a reading and it was interesting.
I called up my friend candice to ask her what she was doing today and she ended up inviting me out to her friends pool party.
I had alot of fun today.
Here is a video of candice doing a hand stand in the pool.








I'll talk to you later,
~Cris

Aaahhhh The Single Life

It's just so great to be single.
Do whatever you want.
When ever you want.
No one to anwer to.
I feel so free to do whatever makes me happy.
If I just want to stay home and chill I can do that.
If I want to get all dressed up and go out I can do that too.
For the first time in my life I'm actually really happy.
And it has nothing to do with a relationship.
I went out today with my closest friends Gemma and Candice.
We all went out to see my friend Nadir's band "Kingley" play.
It was pretty good. I think they came along way.
But my point is that its weird to see a guy you once dated.
And see into there life and think "wow this could have been my life"
Which is totally weird but rewarding.
I mean I dated the guy over the summer last year.
It was alot of fun but I choice a different path.
I'm greatful that we are still friends but still its weird to know that he's married.
Strange. But I have to say that being single feels good.
Rewarding almost.
I feel so fortune to see that I don't need anyone in my life to make me happy.

Anyways I'll talk to you later,

Love ya,
~Cris

Till Next We Meet

I knew that you couldn't stay - That you were simply on loan to me for a short while, And I've loved every minute, And will count the seconds, Till next we meet. And l know that l will always have you in my heart, In my mind, and in my soul - Where I've always known you, Where l will keep you, Till next we meet. So, although I'm sad that you are leaving, I know that the best decisions are not the easy ones. Now is not the right time or place, And I'll try to be patient, Till next we meet. I know until then l will hear your voice in my heart - See you face in my memories, And feel your touch in my dreams, Till next we meet.

Missed Calls

It totally sucks to have a phone that is always off.
Today I missed a call from Lynn its like we play phone voice mail tag where I will call him ask how he is doing and he will call back just to tell me that nothing has changed lol.
I missed an important call from Melbe. Sucks when I miss so many calls.
Damn July 11th can't come fast enough for me.
I can't wait to plan my summer trip with Lynn it will be pretty cool to see where he comes from.
I would have loved to meet his grandpa he seemed like a interesting guy.
It was awesome to meet his mom and step dad in florida. Shooting guns with charlie was alot of fun. His cousins where pretty cool too good times.

After I got of work today I ended up just going over to Gemma's to hangout for a bit.
She just talked for a while and told me all about her crazy time with her mom and her ex. I think she shouldn't hangout with them anymore. That girl has way to much drama in her life. I wish I could help her out. I am glad she hangout with tom though we all went to dinner.
Its funny to see photos of when she first started dating tom till now.
He looks a million times better with the shorter hair and now that its dyed black it looks better than what it did before. Now I'm just hom chillin. I got a little bit of a stomach ache though.
I think its the food I had for dinner. :(

Anyways I'll talk to you later,

Love,
~Cris